Shortage


root - Posted on 01 January 2000

Noemi Martinez is a chicana/boriqua queer single mami to 2 living in deep deep south texas. We are 4 miles away from the border and seeing the border patrol on the way to the kids school is common, but still takes my breath. I was raised by a single mami, we were six, and travelling that line of poor, working poor, almost making it and then sometimes not. And then I am here again with my kids.

by Noemi Martinez

dear jesus

why can’t the govt

give me some $

for the clunker in the
driveway

it’ll die soon

and I need to get to
work &*

get the kids to school

don’t ask me to

buy some $14k ride

thats just crazy

come on, be real

let me buy another one

to last a few more
years

so i can keep going to
work*

paying rent, (going
crazy

& telling lies)and
shit like that.

& lets see about

getting some good

care for my dad

who only sees

shadows, and blue
lights & i wonder

(why is he blind now &

i don’t take his calls)

who’s taking him to

get groceries

cuz I cant (I remember
the hidden food but
can’t remember if its
real or not)

& can u see

about getting my
hermano into a good
rehab after this last
stint becuz he’ll be
dropped out at a bus
station, and I can’t
invite him here and

he'll sleep at
shelters & then he
(don’t say he’s

gotta be saved,

we are all lost

& fucked

& if he can’t ask

i’m asking for him)

I'll find old friends

& then

he'll see its

all useless & so i
dont blame him

because we all look
for release

see, but i can't

have him here (we all
want guns) &

he dreamed the address
of his kids

in that little cell,
made cafe in the
shower but i wonder

if dreams get spiked

with memories

or the other way
around who can

tell the difference
anymore-

he dreamed them, their
address, their house

and sent them letters

& i found them on
myspace

& it looks like they
have that

that thing

too, that companion
that follows us

& any day now, any day
right right right

things will change

& why’d you give us

hope

i’m asking

***

PNN RADIO

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