Tiny - Posted on 04 August 2015

By Bruce Allison and Kathryn Galves

Hi everybody: I just came back from an experience I don’t want to do again. I went through Homeland Parinoia better known as Homeland Securityrted on June 8, 2015.  I went to visit a friends graduation in Seattle, Washington. I known her for a long time.  She is a good friend of mine. I went through the Airport in San Francisco OK. I got my boarding pass, and went through Homeland Security and the x-ray machine by giving the Lumieadi sign (you make your hands put a triangle over your head). So in the basket where they are checking my jacket. wallet, shoes ID and other useless stuff. Went through the airport, got on the plane, left SFO. Got to Seatack, went to the ATM machine and realized my picture ID was missing. Was half nervous and my PTSD kicked in. Nervous enough. Got money from the ATM. Walked to the shuttle and got the shuttle for downtown Seattle. At downtown Seattle I picked up a cab and rode to my friends home. After I arrived I scoured the Internet for a backup ID. Couldn’t find a logical one. They all wanted picture ID. As an elder and retired I threw all my picture ID’s in San Francisco Bay. So no picture ID I called Homeland Parinoia they said,”Bring your Boarding Pass from San Francisco, a credit card you used to purchase your ticket, and three other pieces of ID.” This losing of my ID makes me feel like a drooling idiot.

Since 9 ll you show your ID if you are a poor white guy more often than you show your Credit/Debit Card.

Had fun that week. My friend got her Doctorate Degree. Her outfit made her look like she graduated from Hogwash instead of Washington State University. She would bake four hours in the sun with a ceremony that looked like a Mideval Festival. They played Pomp and Ceremony so many times that you know the tune by heart. When the ceremony was completed, we left after four hours. All the windbags had completed their speeches.

Two days later when I went home. I walked to Air Alaska Counter with my return ticket in one hand in the other I had my old boarding pass from seven days earlier. My Social Security Card, Medi-Cal Card (Faded California Medi-Cal Card that looked like it was in World War III) and a Union Bank Debit Card. Got the ticket. got the Boarding Pass walked to Homeland Paranoia where a security supervisor said,”Is this your property?” “I said, “Yes and put everything back into my wallet.” Telling him that I feel like an idiot. He replied, “Don’t , you’re the fifth guy today. It is 9:00 am.” I hope this will help you next time you go through the airport and you lose your picture ID. The world will not end if you use my technique.

You will hear from me on my next report.

Bad News Bruce signing Out.




Image: Security Screening at Denver Airport by Dan Paluska


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